06 December 2010

I've decided it's perfectly acceptable...

...if I always have a little procrastination in me. if my best intentions don't always work out as planned. if my sisters always think I'm weird. & lots of other things. :)

I've also decided I spend way too much time thinking about what I haven't done, what I'm not so good at, what I wish I could do better... & not enough time doing the things I love (regardless of whether or not I actually do them well...), trying the things I've always wanted to try, & just generally letting myself be who I am. Welcome to being human, right? I know. I'm certainly not the only one. But still. I'm allowed my turn.


I think that part of what keeps me from actually sticking to a blog or a journal is that I'm a little bit of a chicken. So I'm making a deal with myself. If I want to write, I will. About whatever. If I don't, I just won't. End of story. Obligations lifted. Ha! :)

It's really sort of funny, you know, how much we I sometimes worry about what people might think about how I say something or even what I say. I figure that in the long run I am who I am, even when I do say something that reminds me EXACTLY of my mother. Really, just take it or leave it. It doesn't need to be much more complicated than that. But I'm the one who complicates it. So for the next 60 or so years (I hope), my goal will be to travel as far from that self-inflicted silliness as possible. Ready GO! :D


All of that said, have I ever mentioned that I love snow? I mean, reeeeally love it? We're talking run-outside-and-play-ultimate-frisbee-for-three-hours-in-it, walk-in-piles-of-it-up-to-my-knees, ski-sled-make-snow-angels love it.

aaaaaand before I go for now, I figure I should at least mention grad school since it's been so long since I've been on here that I've never said a word about it. Grad school! It's fantastic & awful all at once. A really great sort of awful. The kind of awful that keeps you up way too late writing almost encyclopedic-sounding papers about pathologies, driving a one-hour commute in two hours to avoid dying in the snow drifts just so you can get to your clinical and work with your client (& finding out that it was totally worth it), reading wordy articles by obnoxious researchers on what turn out to be incredibly fascinating topics. Fantastic and awful. I love it.

26 May 2010

watch this (& if you're like me, fawn over the man in the Scrabble shirt...)

 "And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness
is just a clever sort of . . . thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since . . .
you know, a long, long time ago!"

10 May 2010

domesticity (& the creepy Albion tale continues rather uncreepily)

I made homemade popcorn this afternoon.

For dinner, I sauteed broccoli, spinach, mushrooms, & tofu.

& I just finished making guacamole. & it's delicious.

I feel so...so...housewifey.


Also, I found out today that the creepy man from last night was actually the boyfriend of the girl who lives across the street. aaaaaahahaha, I bet they were having an un-parent-approved visit & got caught.

That'll teach 'em. :)

(between my domestic activities & my neighborhood creeping, I suddenly feel a little bit like I belong on Wisteria Lane. oh my.)

have I mentioned I love fruit? or, tales of creepy dear old Albion.

So day one went smashingly. It's funny, really, because I ate pretty much like I do any other day (it helps that I'm a vegetarian to begin with, I'm sure). The most difficult part is trying to do this while I live with my family - their cupboards aren't even vegetarian-friendly, let alone vegan-friendly. So I made a much-needed trip to the store & bought soy milk (which I already drink), Edy's fruit bars (best things ever), tofu, & a cucumber. And my mom bought me a grapefruit.

Now for something completely unrelated - my sister was just finishing a project for school tomorrow, & on her way up to bed, she walked by the front window & saw a man standing in front of the house across the street. Just standing there. Creepily. Someone turned the lights on in the house & he took off running... then she said it reminded her of that awful, terrifying movie The Strangers & it freaked me out & now I won't let her leave me down here alone.

How's that for my first full day as a grown up, 23-year-old college graduate?

09 May 2010

MoV

I just had my last bowl of normal, fancypants ice cream for a bit. I decided a few weeks ago that I wanted to try the whole vegan thing for a month, just for kicks. I mean I have a few other reasons, too, but mainly, I just wanted a silly little project to kick-start my summer. & my graduated life! So. We shall see how this goes. Basically, I'm addicted to grapefruit & broccoli, anyway, so I'm pretty set, right? haha... YUM. :D ...I'm calling it "the Month of Vegan." I mean, not really, but for this post... I did. Ha.

In other news, I have a Bachelors degree! Well, not physically yet... but it'll come in the mail in a few weeks. Now to find a summer job to keep me busy until grad school...

http://www.oapb.cz/skolst/projekt2009/anj/food/grapefruit.jpg

29 April 2010

the real end

Since I walked at graduation last year with my class for part of my degree, I won't be walking again this year. It's sort of strange, really, because last year, I participated in all the festivities without being able enjoy what they represented. This year, there's a lot less festivity in my life & a whole lot more denial that this really is the end of my undergrad career. I'm so excited & so terrified all at once.

I don't know. For now, I suppose I'll just make my festivities the more personal kind - coffee with friends, movie nights with the girls, dinner dates. Who knows when/if I'll ever see some of these people again?

edit: I glanced at this again & realized that it was a lot more sad that I meant for it to be. I blame the lack of sleep :). I'm quite happy, actually, it's just one of those moving on points in life - a very good one, but one I have to see play out before I know what it will be like. I know I'll be in touch with those I'm closest to (but I hate phones, people, so let's be creative... LETTERS!!!) & that I'll meet plenty of new & wonderful people, I just feel a teensy bit misty-eyed when I think about it all. Change is a part of life that I love & long for but that I also try to avoid sometimes. I don't mind. :)

16 April 2010

choir tour a la twitter

April 1st:
2:01PM -  On the charter bus. On our waaaaay. Eleven days.
3:43PM - Bradford.
9:04PM - Concert number one: complete.
10:24PM - Hot. Tub.


April 2nd:
8:12AM - Destination: Philadelphia
10:41AM - Bathroom stops make me want to punch women. Seriously, ladies, what takes you so long?
12:05PM - If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
3:47PM - Bah! Philly's a pretty cool place. I'm so coming here to explore someday.
5:57PM - Singing a Good Friday service then a concert at a beautiful church in Philly.
11:27PM - Coloring Easter eggs!

April 3rd:
12:56PM - Manhattan!
1:35PM - Bah! Our hotel is right across the street from Carnegie Hall!
3:20PM - Sigh. I love people.
4:26PM - Cheese, bread, & hummus in Central Park. Yum.
6:28PM - Ruth: "I think I know who Ben Hur is..." - (skeptical glance from me) - Mary: "You've watched it?" - Ruth: "Oh... it's a movie?"
8:45PM - Pad thai! The perfect way to end(ish) a perfect day.
9:37PM - The subway brakes make a minor seventh then a minor second. How very melancholic.
10:04PM - Because watching "The Ten Commandments" the night before Easter in a hotel across the street from Carnegie Hall is what 23 year olds do...
10:40PM - So we decided to mute Charlton Heston & make up our own words. The Old Testament has never been so... confused.

April 4th:
8:41AM - Singing at two Easter services in NYC. Happy Easter!
10:56AM - Church member: "I like your purple robes. They're very Harry Pottery."
11:23AM - I love hearing black men sing.
6:43PM - Concerting in Manhattan. Intermission... so far, they seem to really like us.
7:33PM - Sometimes on stage I can't help but think about how funny it would be if the audience could see how we were dressed UNDER our robes...
7:45PM - In case anyone wanted to know, the women's bathroom on the second floor of Calvary Baptist Church in Manhattan is THE COOLEST BATHROOM ever.
9:12PM - FINALLY leaving Manhattan. Destination: DC. Around midnight. Ah, the concert touring life.
9:35PM - I have my pillow, my slippers, & the whole back seat of the tour bus to myself. SO good.

April 5th:
1:11AM - FINALLY in DC. Waiting for our hotel keys. & BED.
11:06AM - Being a tourist.
1:06PM - Library of Congress. Sigh... it's GORGEOUS.
1:56PM - Air & Space Museum!
3:19PM - Museum of Natural History
3:32PM - Dinosaurs!
4:33PM - Walking barefoot through the grass & eating an apple. One of my favorite things to do. (& in DC!)
4:56PM - Ha. We just did the National Gallery of Art in the final 5 minutes before closing...
6:01PM - Star. Bucks. Starbucks.
8:03PM - I mean, you obviously haven't lived until you've done karaoke at a roadside bar in Maryland.

April 6th:
11:10AM - Choir tour over Easter = mega overdose of sugar. Currently in the form of Cadbury Mini Eggs, so I'm okay with that.
12:35PM - Williamsburg, VA. So warm...
1:41PM - Sitting in a coffee shop in Colonial Williamsburg. Some things can't be helped.
1:48PM - Raspberry Italian soda. Yum.
2:38PM - oh, & earlier, when I said Virginia was warm, what I meant by that was that it's FREAKING HOT.
10:23PM - GREATEST host grandma EVER.

April 7th:
12:57PM - It amazes me how much a little distance can remind me so intensely of just how much I love someone. Not that I forget otherwise. You get it.
8:23PM - Second half of concert, commence. SO. HOT.
9:14PM - Ha. We girls get back to our changing room 2 seconds after a sweaty concert, & a poor MAN comes out of the next room. His face = priceless.

April 8th:
8:35AM - Quiet time on the bus is my favorite thing.
1:12PM - Doing a high school assembly. Ha.
9:18PM - Just finished a joint concert with the Syracuse University Singers. It was fantastic all around.

April 9th:
10:21AM - I'm sick of not being able to pee when I have to...
10:59AM - Diction on the bus. Fun fun fun.
12:44PM - Concert at Crane at SUNY Potsdam.
7:17PM - As I tried to discreetly grab a yummy-looking cupcake, a man said, "You had the eyes of a child on that one. Keep that forever."
10:12PM - Going to bed! Early! (up at 4:45AM...)

April 10th:
5AM - Why. Am. I. Up?
7:29AM - "Guten morgen, mein kinter." "Mein vater, mein vater!"
7:27AM - "So, if you're missing a very small monocle, come see me."
7:41AM - Almost in Canada & phoneless until Sunday afternoon. Concert this afternoon, Bach b minor Mass at the Toronto Symphony tonight.

April 11th:
2:01AM - So one Canadian biker just told me that I was the first New Yorker he's ever met & that I'm cool. Then another told me I had huge boobs. (Terrifying.)
3:52PM - At the border... They're making us ALL get off the bus. Ha.
4:04PM - Haha. Welcome home. :)
4:20PM - In a perfect Russian beet farmer's wife accent: "We altos. We move bus after men leave."
5:59PM - HOUGHTON! Houghton. Hough. Ton.
6:04PM - I just started singing as we rolled onto campus & got the whole choir to end the tour singing. Go me, haha! :)


That about sums it up. Seriously. It was insane & exhausting & wonderful & exhilarating & everything else all at once.
                      
                        

18 March 2010

Blackout, or Houghton's First Rave.

Tuesday night, I sang back up for my lovely friend Ruth at a coffeehouse - it was a benefit called "Night for Nets" to raise money to buy mosquito nets & help put an end to malaria. A good cause, & we had a half-hour available to us. We had several really good songs lined up, only 1.5ish of which had I ever heard before. It was exciting, but we've both been incredibly busy lately, so the preparation was minimal. Still, I thought things looked good.

& actually, I'm going to let Ruth tell you the next part of the story via a quote I cut & pasted from her facebook like the creeper that I am, haha:

"The coffeehouse. Well! Let me tell you...we got to the start of our 4th song, theennnnn the ENTIRE campus blacked out! Kinda ironic, considering that the previous song's chorus says "so turn on the light and reveal all the glory" and the last song says "help me see the light...." and the line I sang one second before the power shut down was "for her oppressers are silenced now..." The blackout was even in rhythm with the song, which I thought was pretty cool ;) ... And after the power died we just circled up and finished the songs for our own enjoyment :) ... Plus, with all the lights off on campus, the stars were so clear and gorgeous! It was a great night :)"

That about says it.  All of Houghton, town included, lost power. It was fantastic. After the power went out & we finished the set like she said, we went outside. It was BEAUTIFUL. It's funny, because coming from Rochester to Houghton is an instant doubling of visible stars as it is, so I figured that was it, right? No way. I am such a sheltered little child of the 80s. There. Are. So. Many. Stars. I know, "duh!" But seriously... even when I've been out on the countryside camping at night, I've still been near enough a town or city that there's light pollution. Since all of the town's lights were out & there are only Amish anywhere near us after that, this was the darkest night I've ever experienced. I feel like a silly little child or something going on about stars like this, but really. This was a big deal for me. God is so cool.

So naturally, since nothing too exciting seems to happen in Houghton, everyone came outside and started going nuts. We ducked into the Chamberlain Center for ten minutes or so to warm up a tiny bit (& because I knew Luke would be there somewhere because of his Candlewick dress rehearsal, & I figured I could grab the opportunity to enjoy the stars with him for a few seconds... blah blah blah, sappiness, I know. get over it.). There was an alarm of some sort going off... irritatingly & incessantly. We complained briefly until someone (oh, the anonymity of near-complete darkness is exhilirating, by the way) said: "here's a random thought... this is the first time any of us have ever seen stars through the skylight in here." Naturally, we all looked up.

Then the silliness started, haha. Someone made a creepy voice, so I thought it an appropriate time to start quoting The Shining, and others followed suit. There was a lot of "redrum. REDRUM." happening, then I felt hands on my shoulders (thank you, Ryan) & heard "little pigs, little pigs..." right next to my ear (almost as creepy as Jack Nicholson). The alarm was still going and was still loud & irritating, so we started making tone clusters with it, figuring that sometimes it's just better to embrace the annoying things that we can't control rather than letting them ruin a good thing (incidentally, this is my stance with Lady Gaga...). Then, someone mentioned that it would make a good drone. We attempted a few songs, finally settling on Amazing Grace. Cheesy? Maybe. Timeless & beautiful nonetheless? Absolutely. It started with a circle of about 4 or 5 us, and as we continued, the harmonies grew & people joined us until the atrium was filled with faceless voices of people on the ground floor, on the stairs, and on the second & third floors. It was one of those rare times in life where I am overcome by the moment & completely oblivious to the past & future. I was there & only there, and it was so good.

We eventually headed outside, Ruth & I, laughing at all the craziness we heard around us. There were tons of people walking by cellphone-light (oh, 21st century), but we let our eyes adjust (it's funny, the things you learn at camp... like how your eyes really were designed to adjust to darkness & WHAT?! I can see in the dark??). We walked by a game of frisbee - the product of opportunists & a light-up frisbee - and were temporarily blinded by the headlights of someone who apparently & inexplicably thought it prudent to light up the ENTIRE QUAD with their brights. This was a very false assumption on their part, & they seemed to (thankfully) realize it quickly. Then Ruth: "let's go over to the music building! you know something fun will be going on there." So we did, although the music building had some emergency lights on, so of course all the dedicated (read: those who make me feel like a bad musician) musicians were still practicing. Surprisingly, not much fun was happening there. Until we remembered that the 3rd floor windows opened onto the roof... so we hurried past Dr. Newbrough (who was STILL THERE...?) and climbed out the window. AHHH! Best idea ever. Fireworks even started going off. Honest!

After we let ourselves get pretty frozen on the roof, we went back inside for a few, then headed back outside (it's so hard to stay inside when outside is so dark & beautiful). We headed back toward the campus center, and there was a girl with a megaphone calling everyone to the "party over here!" by her car, which was evidently playing music for the party. Now, if you know Houghton at all, you know that most of us aren't partiers of that sort, really, so you can appreciate the irony. Greg Bish, the CAB advisor (aka, not a student, but an administrator who seized the opportunity to be awesome, as usual), was handing out glow sticks/necklaces. Basically, it was Houghton's first rave.

Soon after, Ruth & I met up with two of my housemates and decided to head back to our apartment for a movie night on Amy's little DVD player ("I think it'll hold a charge for a whole movie..."). On the way back, we randomly noticed that the power was back on - ew, street lamps. Well, sidewalk lamps. We were stuck on the movie night idea, though, so we headed up anyway (did I mention classes were canceled for Wednesday anyway because of Senior Help Day?), and since the power was back, we made popcorn & watched The Proposal on the regular TV. Back to the 21st century.

I heard stories Wednesday about cars driving through the tunnel of the music building & on the quad. I embrace rebellion of the non-life-threatening variety usually, but I think that pushed it a bit... I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but darkness & crowds of people & big hunks of gas-powered metal on wheels in places where they don't belong is not exactly the recipe for harmless fun. But still. All of that aside, it was such a good night.

Actually, it's too bad CAB hadn't planned the blackout. It would have been the cheapest, most excellent campus event ever. And it didn't even require a chapel announcement or fliers in those little plastic things on the lunch tables. Impromptu blackouts should be incorporated into life in general, I think. I so enjoyed the break from regular life.

04 March 2010

breathing.

Has anyone else noticed that stress always come at the most inopportune times? & that's not to say that bad stress isn't always less-than-opportunistic. I just can't figure out the correlation... does the "inopportune time" cause the stress, or does the presence of the stress cause the "inopportune time"? Probably both. Not that I really care. All I know is AAAAAHHHHHH!

03 March 2010

the wee hours.

I seem to find myself here in the middle of these sleepless nights. Could be worse.

I'm really only thinking two things at the moment. Well, three if you count the ever-present "please, dear God, tell me what I need to do to get some sleep"...

& they are:

1) wow, have I ever changed a lot in these five years of undergrad, &
2) why do I find it so difficult to be comfortable being me?

oh, I lied. there are three:

3) this fruit fly that for some inexplicable reason has found its way into my room & has turned flying by my head & escaping my swats into a recreational sport is about to get pounded. & this from someone who tries to avoid the unnecessary killing of insects. well, Mr. Fruit Fly, you have simply gone too far.

02 March 2010

facebook philosophy

My current status on facebook so clearly expresses life at the moment that I figured I'd share it here. So enjoy. :)

Danielle Fera would just like to let you all know that snow is still cold, blue skies are still gorgeous, God is still love, & chai warms the soul. Honest.

over-complicating simplicity

Why do we Christians turn what really, if you actually think about, is a rather simple command into such a warped concept?

Love. Love. Love.

Not "love, & then..." or "love, but..." or "love if..." or "except when" or "until"... just love.

Love God. Love people. Leave the rest up to him.

I know it goes deeper than this black & white command, but the basis of it all is love, & man, have we ever lost sight of that.

...& lest you should think that I've think I've got this all figured out & I'm just here to pass along some unloving, hypocritical judgement (okay, so I prefer the British spelling... get over it.) on you all... don't. I'm just as guilty as the next beautiful mess of a broken person.

That's why God's so... God.

25 February 2010

insomnia...

...is no fun at all.

So I decided to make a list of, well, some pretty random things, actually, while I lay here in the glow of my ancient IBM thinkpad, snuggled under my big, fluffy, white blanket with my ragged Teddy (who is, incidentally, a polar bear, and not a teddy bear at all) & my freshly-heated rice bag (which is, incidentally, a cushy oven mitt filled with rice & cinnamon & heated a la microwave, and is not really a bag at all). While writing overly-detailed run-on sentences. And overusing ampersands. And apparently writing sentence fragments. And being a geek and knowing what an ampersand is. Sigh... oh, the mental senselessness of sleeplessness. I make myself laugh a little when I'm this sleepy. :)

Without further ado, the random list:
1) I love the warm cinnamon & rice smell of my rice... oven mitt.

2) My room is super clean at the moment. And all of my laundry is clean, folded (to my way-too-strict standards, haha), & put away. Tidiness compliments of my sleepless night two nights ago.

3) My two favorite words at the moment are "vermicious" & "screed."

4) I love water.

 5) Sym Winds tour was postponed. We have tomorrow off now, & we won't start until Friday. I feel sad for the people whose diligent planning got squashed, but I am thrilled to have at least one day of break to actually relax.

6) I love playing the contrabass clarinet. Especially the low notes. They rattle my eyes, no lie.

7) I'm in the midst of reading several books right now - in between class reading, which has made outside reading difficult lately. Books in process: Eats, Shoots, & Leaves, by Lynne Truss; 1984, by George Orwell; and Watchmen, by Alan Moore (no, I still haven't finished it since I read the first half of it in the fall because I've been so busy... poor excuse, I know. & before you judge me for reading it, read it, & be pleasantly surprised, I promise... many of the more recent graphic novels actually prove to be quite impressive pieces of literature/art, and I have my adolescent lit professor to thank for opening that door).

8) I'm taking a lit class called "Modern & Contemporary Drama" right now, and I absolutely love it. We're studying the realism of modern drama and the absurdism of contemporary works... and I'm falling in love. Just like I fell in love with the Beat Generation of the 1950s last semester.

9) With every passing addition to this list, I just seem to be revealing more and more just how geeky I really am. And I'm okay with that. :)

10) Current music obsessions (yes, obsessions... are those still okay when you're 22?):

"Snails" by The Format
"Paris 1919" by John Cale
"Laughing With" by Regina Spektor
"A New Law" by Derek Webb
"Nobody Knows Me at All" by The Weepies
"Jump Rope" by Blue October (the video link to this one is Houghton!)
"Float On" by Modest Mouse
"You Really Got a Hold On Me" by She & Him 
"La Valse D'Amélie" from the movie Amélie

[...among about a million others. Sigh, music.]


So that's good for now. I hope sleep will come soon.

22 February 2010

melancholy

I know just posted early this morning, but I'm just going to go ahead & consider that yesterday... you know, since it was before I went to sleep & all. I've been sitting down here in the campus center computer lab checking email & such for a little bit, and I felt the urge to write something somewhere. So I came here.

I've been thinking a lot about melancholy things lately... the word itself, the concept, and things that are themselves considered "melancholy." It sounds a whole lot more depressing than it is, actually - it's just that I've been surrounded lately with melancholy things. So it's only natural. If I were at my apartment, I'd find the program from the Philharmonia concert the other night and copy for you the description of a melancholic composer/composition that it had in it. It was beautiful to read, and I think it's what perpetuated my near-obsessive thoughts on the subject. I remember it talking about the characteristics of a melancholy person, which, as I imagined, were so much more than just "an all-around depressing person & a general downer" or something ridiculous like that. It was something like one who spends time deep in thought & (I know it didn't say it like this, but I can't quite remember...) one who feels deeply the things of this world. I guess that I sometimes think of myself as a melancholy person - which may seem an ironic word for someone who can be as silly as me - in the way that the program described, & I suppose that's why I find it so fascinating. I love to feel deeply, to love deeply, to think deeply, to find joy deeply, even to cry deeply, & to see the beauty in the world through eyes that aren't afraid of pain, but can somehow see the beauty in it. If you know me (& if you're reading this, I assume you do), then you know I'm also a rather joyful person... but I delight in forcing two seemingly opposite things to live in tension with one another, because I think that's part of what it is to be human. So many things that we think are opposites are really not opposite at all, but two halves or two faces (or something) of the same. Of course, that's just my opinion.

Hmm, so I know there was something else I was going to say, but I forgot somewhere in the midst of my tangential ramblings up there. I do that often, I promise you. I figure you might as well get used to it now. :)

OH! I remember - it's nothing fancy. I was only going to mention another, I don't know, quirk (?) of mine. As is evidenced by this random little post of mine, I often get words and/or concepts in my head, and try as I might, I can't easily get rid of them. Sometimes it really is as simple as just getting a word stuck in my head - the same as when you get a song stuck in your head. It's actually kind of funny (in an exasperating sort of way), because it gets to the point where I'll just start saying the word. So if I ever walk up to you & say something out-of-the-blue, like "fragmentation" or "rapidity," it's just because my silly brain has, for the day or so, latched on to that word for one reason or another. As for the concepts, I'll just be kind of distracted by something for a day or two until I finally realize that my mind keeps coming back to the same idea or bunch of ideas. Once I realize there's a pot boiling over on a front burner, I can move it to the back burner & let it simmer until I have chance to work with it... if that makes sense, haha. This is why I love writing so much... paper & ink make for a pretty permanent back burner, but as soon as you have time, the words are right there waiting to be read & mulled over.

So. C'est moi. I like my quirks. And you might as well know them if you're actually going to read my ramblings. :D

i. love. words.

under pressure (think David Bowie & Queen)

So much to do. So naturally, I come here. ;)

Lately, I've been spending far too much time pining for a laptop & OS that can handle photo-editing, video-making, and, well, really I'd be pretty happy with more than 32 gigs (or whatever this silly little Houghton thinkpad has) so that I could actually empty the camera I've been using once in a while. [run-on sentence, mhmm. you will learn quickly that I love them when it comes to accurately relating what happens in my brain]. Speaking of cameras, whinewhinewhinewimper I miss mine, mediocre as it was. I do, however, owe Luke a great big hug for being so generous with his for the last... gracious, 8 or 9 months, off & on.

And a side note: I'm rather proud of myself for having enough technological prowess to have used the term "OS" properly. I'm serious. This is a big deal.

Before I leave you for more constructive things [read: cleaning my poor room with the help of The Weepies & Regina Spektor; reviewing realistic & absurdist theatre/playwrights for Tuesdays exam; and finally, attempting to fend off my body's latest trick, sleeplessness, with some relaxing yoga], I thought I'd leave a little tribute to my much-loved dwarf hamster, Ava, who died during the night last Wednesday/Thursday. I got her almost two years ago, at the very end of March 2008, during a very trying but growth-filled time in my life. She'd been sick off & on since just before Thanksgiving 2009, and as silly as it may sound to say a thing like this about a little rodent, she fought hard. I've felt completely ridiculous crying over something that seems, in the bigger picture, so insignificant, but today I decided to stop being apologetic for being human about this. She meant a lot, tiny though she may have been. That should be enough, right? I think so.